A Mexican Restaurant and a Story
by rikkucheerio
Summary: Sometimes, the stuff Bobby runs into is just plain weird. The ongoing saga of the Bear.
1. A Mexican Restaurant and a Story

_A/N: This is one of the first journal entries I'd written for Bobby when I joined the RPG. It was also a pretty popular entry._

I'm sitting in the dark. Not sure why. I guess the sun set and I just have yet to turn on a light. There's something peaceful about it, though. I feel like my eyes are about to fall out of my skull because I've spent the whole day catching up on things from while I was gone. You'd be amazed at all the stuff you miss when you're taking time off.

I took a break for a few hours this afternoon to take a walk and find some lunch. It was interesting, to say the least. It reminded me of one of Benson's narratives.

_I walked into a little hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. Because it's late afternoon, there's only one other customer besides me. A little old man, probably in his 80's, occupies the table in the corner by the door. He has long hair that was probably jet-black when he was in his prime. He doesn't look at me when I come in, instead he's absorbed in what's on his plate. I get seated diagonally across the room from him. I'm intrigued by him. He has beads in his stringy, white hair and his skin is like leather. I ordered some pork pibil and gave the waiter the menu back. He retreated into the kitchen and then it was just the old man and me. His back was hunched and he seemed like he'd seen everything in his lifetime. __  
_

_Without lifting his head, he said, "I knew you were coming, nahkohe." At first, I wasn't sure he was talking to me, but since I was the only one else there, it had to have been me. __  
__"Nahkohe'...that's...Cheyenne?" I asked. My knowledge of Native American languages was next to nothing. __  
_

_He nodded slowly. "It means 'bear'." His voice sounded as if he'd spent his entire life standing over a mesquite fire. It was smooth and low; a ragged sound from deep inside him somewhere. __  
_

_I tilted my head, curious about his first statement. "How did you know I was coming?" __  
__He looked up at me with dark eyes. "There are many things I know." He was silent, studying me much as I had been him. Then, he looked back down at his plate, and without looking up, started speaking again. "Do you know how Bear lost his tail?" __  
_

_"No, I'm not familiar with the story," I said. __  
_

_"Long ago, bears had tails. Bear was very proud of it. He would wave it around for all to see. One day, Bear came upon Fox surrounded by great piles of fish. Bear was going to ask Fox what she was doing just as Fox pulled her tail from a hole in the ice. A big trout came up with her tail. Bear asked Fox what she was doing and Fox said, "I am fishing. Would you like to try?" Bear said he would. Fox told Bear that he needed to make a new hole in the ice. Fox told Bear to put his tail in the water and wait until Fox told him to take it out. Fox said she would hide so she wouldn't scare the fish away. Fox watched for a little while and then snuck back to her own home to sleep. Fox woke up the next morning and wondered if Bear was still down at the lake. She went to check. It had snowed during the night and there was a bump on the lake where Bear had fallen asleep. Bear was snoring and making the ice shake. Fox rolled around on the ground laughing at the sight. When she was done laughing, she very quietly crept up to Bear's ear and shouted. Bear woke with a jump and pulled his long tail as hard as he could but his tail was frozen in the water and it broke off. Bear turned around to see the fish but saw his tail in the ice. Bear moaned and said "Fox, I will get you for this." He finished his story and looked over at me. I tried to read his eyes, tried to understand him. __  
_

_"I haven't-" I started to say, but he cut me off. __  
_

_"You need to be careful of Fox. She is a trickster with many faces. Watch your back, nahkohe, for your partner cannot always do it." __  
_

_I don't exactly scream cop. I've always thought I looked more like a linebacker in Armani. "How did you know I'm a cop?" I asked him. __  
_

_"Bears are hunters," he said simply, as if that explained everything. "Your partner is Wolf." __  
_

_I smiled.__  
_

_The old man nodded slowly. "Dogs are descendants of Wolf and dogs are man's best friend." __  
_

_"Wh-" he cut me off again. __  
_

_"You know who Fox is." __  
_

_The waiter appeared at my left. I looked up at him and he looked back; 'You're crazy' clearly written on his face. I looked back over to where the old man had been sitting and to my surprise, he wasn't there. ___

I know I wasn't hallucinating. He's right. I do know who the fox is. The fox is usually cunning, intelligent, and wild. And a trickster. I don't know much about Native American symbolism and animals, so when I got home, I looked it up. I wanted to know why Eames is the wolf. Wolves are generally thought of as being a whole list of things: cautious (of strangers) but curious, elusive by nature, attuned to environment, family orientated, devoted, loyal, fearless, develop strong emotional ties, cooperative, playful, social, intelligent, expressive communicators, and loving. As well as being in relation to man's best friend. It fits her perfectly. I looked up the bear, too. Bears represent gentle strength, introspection, and dreaming. Hm.

This is certainly one day I'll never forget.


	2. A Bear and an Otter

_A/N: This entry followed about two months after the first one. If you can't figure out who Otter is, just ask me._

New York City is the kind of place where a naked guy can walk around with a guitar or a man wearing a parka in July can shout about the coming apocalypse and no one will care. They'll brush it off, shrug their shoulders, and say, "Only in New York." Sometimes, the line between reality and the absurd blurs, concentrating squarely on New York, like it's the corner penthouse of Spook Central. What's real becomes imaginary and the fictitious takes center stage. But this is ordinary.

I was supposed to meet her at 4:00 tonight, on Greenwich St. I'd met with her before and she'd proved very useful, handing over information that I then in turn used to my advantage. She's pretty easy on the eyes, too. Picture this: 5'10, long light brown hair, eyes of sky blue, and a body that should come with one of those 'Dangerous Curves Ahead' signs. I didn't mind meeting with her at all.

I glanced at my watch and then surveyed the area. 4:15 and she was nowhere to be seen. In fact, there wasn't anyone anywhere. I thought this was strange for this early in the evening, but I shrugged it off. I got up off the metal loading platform that I had been sitting on and walked down the sidewalk. Maybe she was just running late and I'd run into her on her way. I'd walked a half block when I spotted her in the distance. She ducked into an alley. I thought maybe she hadn't seen me, but then she popped her head out and extended her arm, motioning with her index finger that I should follow her. Gladly. I walked towards the alley, expecting her to either rail me right there against the wall or have me killed at the hands of a couple of her minions. I turned the corner and there was no one in the alley. Not a soul. I don't even think there were any rats in the garbage cans. There were no fire escapes in the alley, nor were there doors on the buildings. Where the hell did she go? I cautiously entered the alley, while instinctively reaching for my gun. Fuck. Not anticipating this to be anything more than a quick exchange of information, as it had been each and every time prior, I hadn't brought it. I stood in the middle of the alley, suddenly aware of every little sound, every slight movement. The sun was starting to set; weird shadows were being thrown in every direction. I turned around, so that I was facing the street again and started walking out, eager to get my ass out of there. Then I heard it. I was unsure at first, thinking it was a typical city sound.

"Nahkohe."

I definitely heard it that time. I turned around and he was sitting on the ground at the back end of the alley. I walked towards him and he smiled at me with a warmth and fondness I'd never seen before. Hell, he hardly showed any outward emotions last time.

"You are surprised to see me."

"Well…yes." I turned around again, looking out at the street, then back at him. "Where did Claudia go?"

"Claudia is where she has always been."

"That's not helpful." My words came out harsher than I'd wanted them to, but I was in a situation that could easily end with CSU picking little bits of me out of the bricks and I wasn't exactly looking to chitchat.

"You are agitated." He smiled again. "You have no reason to be."

"Forgive me if I don't exactly believe you."

His expression changed and he looked at me for a long time.

"Otter is new to you since we last met."

"Who?"

His smile returned and he got up from the ground. He walked over to me and I was shocked to see how much shorter than me he is. I instinctively tensed up when he came near me.

"Give me your hand, Nahkohe." I was hesitant at first, but did as I was asked. In my palm he placed a small, otter-shaped figurine that was carved out of stone. "She is Otter: playfulness, joy, togetherness, curiosity, awakening, creativity, faithfulness, love of the young, life can be fun with the right attitude." He then said something in Cheyenne, as he closed my fingers over the stone animal.

"Thanks," I mumbled. He nodded and smiled at me. A strange noise out on the street caught my attention and I turned to see what it was. I turned back again to ask him what he'd said to me, but I found myself alone in the alley again.


	3. Pancakes and a Dark Alley

_A/N: These chapters aren't related from one to the other. They're more like an on-going adventure, so to speak. In case you're wondering, Otter is Andy. This one introduces a new animal, which is Olivia Benson. These are all set in the same RPG universe that Lizzie B and I are so deeply involved in. And, as always, thank you very much for the reviews._

I woke up around 5:00 this morning. I had actually been to sleep, which is a welcome change from the last week. I've actually stopped setting my alarm. If there's ever a day where I'm late for work, think of it as a good thing as I'll have probably slept for a solid block of time longer than a few hours. I wasn't ready to be productive yet since I was still lost in my head, thinking about things that've been said to me over the course of the last few days. I had plenty of time before I had to be anywhere, so I decided to hit the streets. The city is still dark this time of day, but yet it's already alive. It's a strange combination if you think about it. It's almost as if society is in such a hurry, it starts its day before the planet does. It's very self-righteous.

Self-righteous. Self-absorbed. When did I get that way? It doesn't happen over night, so why didn't I see it before now? Why do I think that my problems are worse than those of people close to me? It feels wrong to me to be dwelling on what happened last weekend when I know for a fact that just across town, there's someone with more at stake. The fear, that raw emotion, is the same, but who am I to decide what's more worthy of being afraid of? Since that's the case, why can't I get out of neutral and start moving forward? How hard is it to push the clutch in and put it in 1st? If only it were that simple.

My walk had landed me on the 6 train to 59th St. I changed trains and found myself in LIC. I briefly considered banging on Lewis' door, but decided against it for some reason. It had little to do with the fact that he's even less of a morning person than I am and more to do with the fact that I simply didn't want company. 

I walked past his garage, though. By this time, I'd decided I should eat something. There's a diner in Astoria that I used to go to when I was younger. I cut through an alley just across from the garage. It was dark, but I knew it was the same one I used to play in during the day. The graffiti had all been painted over and sandblasted from the bricks. Why this alley? It was between a sketchy recording studio and an Italian restaurant. We used to set up crates and sit on them, sort of like Lady and the Tramp. The little old woman who owned the restaurant would give us snacks before the dinner crowd came in. The recording studio would hand off their rejected demo tapes to us and we'd sit for hours, listening to wannabe musicians while eating cannoli. It was an escape.

I pulled open the door of the diner and stood there for a moment. It was like I'd walked into the past. Sure, the staff had all changed and Mr. Bailey no longer runs the place, but otherwise hasn't changed a bit. I grabbed a booth by a window and tossed my coat on the other side. For a long while, I stared out the window, watching the borough wake up more. The sun had come up finally and it was like a collective caffeine jolt. A few people passed by the window and I found myself wondering what they had waiting for them when they got home in the evenings. Did any of them have bigger issues than I do but yet are able to keep it together? Coping mechanisms are behavior reinforcers. One will work for a certain problem, but not for others. I need to find one that works for everything. A cure all.

"Nahkohe."

I turned away from the window, only to be greeted with a familiar old man sitting across from me. I laid the menu and my hands flat on the table. He smiled at me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I'm not sure if I should be worried that he always seems to know where I am or curious as to how he knows it. The jury is still out.

"Listen to Otter. She knows things."

"She's biased." Why am I even having this conversation with him? I'm not in the mood.

He simply shakes his head.

"I had this conversation yesterday. I'm sure you know that already. Lying to protect feelings? It happens." I hadn't intended for that to come out as snippy as it had, but it doesn't entirely surprise me that it did.

He reached across the table and put his hand on mine. "Do you remember what Otter is?"

"You mean besides master of snark?" The look on his face said he didn't really appreciate the joke.

"Awakening."

"Yeah, I remember that. What about it?"

"That is for you to figure out." He patted my hand and smiled softly. "You will not find all your answers in one day. It takes time. Rely on her."

I nodded. I think I know what he's getting at.

"And listen to the Doe. She is unbiased."

"The Doe?"

"Yes. Deer. Gentleness, Compassion and Kindness. She does not need to know the whole story to tell you the truth."

I nodded again. That was something I was worrying about since yesterday afternoon.

He smiled at me again. "You will be fine, Nahkohe." He slid from the booth and left the diner as quietly as he had come in. At least I actually saw him leave this time.


End file.
